Wacky ideas the hottest notions to make us a really cool planet

YOU'LL have freaked at all the reports warning that if we don't cut our gases, our cities will drown, our farms will turn to dust and giant hurricanes will suck up every last polar bear.
But don't despair. I've scoured the papers to find this year's top tips to cut your gases and help save this planet from global warming catastrophe.

And, swear to God, every one of these news items is genuine:
- Take off your socks
- Rent your clothes
- Warm your baby with pancakes
- Eat your dog
- Pee in your car
- Pee before you fly
- Crash into people
- Cuddle babies
- Pedal to a hooker
- Reuse your toilet wipes
- Poison Chinese workers
- Poison everyone
- Get poor
- Ban second children
- Stop eating
- Become Catholic
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